Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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