people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
