the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
