he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
