just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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