I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
