i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
