I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize