My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
