Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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