Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
