She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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