Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
