We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Come back. Shots need mouths.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
