last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Boobs are out for the taking
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
