Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
