sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
another moral hangover. fuck.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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