Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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