I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
This is classic penis vs brain.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
you never un-have a 4some
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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