i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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