i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Randomize
