The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
