Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize