if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize
