You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize