when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Randomize
