The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
