May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
i out mim tonsoeep
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
