I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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