I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
smell my finger.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
