Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
did you just send me my own nude
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Randomize
