...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
