You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
