quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
