does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
