Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
