She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
