I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
