Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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