We're facebook friends in real life
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
