i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
