She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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