I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
