North Korea, Best Korea!
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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