i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
