Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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