She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
