i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
