i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
