The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
