I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
