Got a toothbrush?
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize