In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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