heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I think my moral compass just broke
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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