Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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