She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
