What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
